The Sandman Cometh

Happy bathroom fan
With your peaceful white humming
grows profound slumber

Painting with Eumelanin, or the Battle for Follicular Supremacy

I thought Megan and I were locked in a viscous combat in a war whose winner was pre-ordained, but unknowable.  

False.

Turns out the Battle for Follicular Supremacy isn't a battle at all.  It's more like two painters with different amounts of paint and a shared (and adorable) vision.  

Megan and I each contributed a number of genes to Milo's head.  The rest of him too.  I've always pictured simple-Mendelian inheritance, with a dominant and recessive hair color gene.  He'd have gorgeous strawberry-blond hair, or he'd have my hair.  Turns out we each contributed a bunch of chromosomes that lead to the production of a pigment called eumelanin.  The more genes he has  that make this pigment, the darker Milo's hair will be.  The fewer, the lighter.  It's not a dominant/recessive, either/or, win/lose thing.  (I'm not going to say which of our hair colors would have been a win)  It's the cooperation of our genes which will end up coloring in Milo's hair.  

So he may end up looking something like this:

Cut your hair, hippie

Or something like this:

No, wait, grow it back.  You look like Vanilla Ice

Maybe some of each or none of the above.  You'll be the first to know once I know what our little artists come up with.  

You Earned It

Happy Mother's Day!

I know here at Super Dad Man we usually focus on the dad (cause that's me), but let's be serious.  In the first few months (or at least the first seven weeks), mom does more.  At least in this household.

I think I can claim I've changed more diapers, but I can't claim to have had to sit up 30-45 minutes three times a night.  I get to change him and fall right back asleep after halfheartedly offering to fill up her water glass. 

Feed me mommy, feed me.  Repeat. 

I don't have to entertain him the 9+ hours I'm at work.  I get to talk to adults, who can speak back to me and behave rationally.  Then, I come home full of energy and 'let mommy have a break' so she can do relaxing things, like the dishes. 

 Don't worry buddy, it won't really rain meatballs

Geez, mom, don't you think you've done enough today already?  My bums

I don't have to worry about finding a wardrobe for my ever-changing body.  I only own one suit, and I bought it in high school.  Mommy manages to look beautiful while wearing hand-me-downs from some other mommy to save money.

 Milo thinks mommy is pretty too.

So happy mother's day mommy.  You're doing a really great job by both me and Mr. Spaghetti Neck. 

It's like WrestleMania III

In the red corner, weighing in at 10 lbs. 5 oz, using the disarming cute, a viscous 8 inch reach, and the speed of...well, he can't actually walk yet... The Menacing.  The Maniacal.  The Madorable.  Milo the Marauder.

Our two champions before the fight

And in the blue corner, weighing in at, well, pretty skinny for a fully grown adult male... The going-prematurely gray.  The pretty-good-at-the-non-contact-sport-of-yoga.  The software engineer.  Andrew the Super-Dad-Man.

Let's get ready to unintentionally rumble.

Andrew goes in quick for the bear hug.  Yes, Andrew has completely picked Milo up.  Oh, this could get ugly.  Milo's head is head resting in the crook of Andrew's guns and...wait, OH MY GOD, he's gently bouncing Milo.  Yes, it's a sleeper hold.  I don't think Milo can take much more of this.  His eyes are starting to close...

Oh wait, Milo's got one eye open.  Now the other.  He's waving his arms.  The crowd's really getting into it.  Watch out for those arms, Andrew.   Watch out for the arms!

BAMKAPOW!!!!!!!!!!!

It looks like Andrew's bleeding.  Oh the humanity.  I think the ref's going to call it.  Yes, Milo's done it.  He's knocked Andrew out with one carefully placed swipe to the lip.

This thing is over.

...

That's right, Milo just beat me up.  He hit me in the lip with a flailing arm.  It stung, but I didn't know it was actually bleeding until I kissed his cheek and left a little 'lipstick' print.  Adorable(?)

I knew parenting would be tough, but I didn't realize how tough Milo himself would be at 6 weeks.

Gloaty McGloats-A-Lot after his recent victory

For anyone with 9 minutes to spare, here's a dramatic reenactment.  

Hulk, you're still my hero (but probably only because I never watched your reality show)

Internet Famous

I'm internet famous!  Check out my saga on the Complete Body website

Thanks Nicole.

Got Milk?

Me: Milo, I should have taken a picture of your first milk-mustache.

Megan: Milk-mustache? The other day he had a full milk beard. He had sideburns and everything.